Agra

En route to Agra we stopped at a roadside tourist trap complex: nothing of import to note, except that I managed to achieve my greatest haggling feat - reducing an elephant statue from 110,000rp to 55,000rp without saying a word. I think lissy and I, in our boredom, had driven the salesman to insanity by asking him endless "would you rather..." questions and challenging him to a duel with the weapons on sale.

And then we were in Agra, known best for its hotel manager massage service. Of course there is the Taj Mahal, but I can hardly begin to describe it, let alone make any witty comments. I think setting out intentions to avoid using cliches to describe the Taj is, in itself, now a cliche.

We visited it early in the morning to avoid the major crowds - despite feeling rotten my cool new hat enthused me. (see below). Just go and see it - despite the countless times I've seen it in photos etc it really can't disappoint. Unless you're lissy, who observed "it's smaller than I thought". It's hugely, painstakingly constructed, and all the more awesome looking from our hotel balcony in the evening #slummingit. As karma for our embarrassing lifestyle, we all fell fairly ill - my own illness perhaps due to my reunion with steak.

Shout out to the "mini taj" which preceded the big daddy by 15 years and which had been built for the queen's favourite hairdresser - don't get your hopes up Clive...

With love